Begin Again
“The next message you need is always right where you are.”
-- Ram Dass
Every morning this week I’ve started the day with ten or fifteen minutes of meditation, even before heading to my espresso machine for my two (ok, sometimes three) beloved daily cups of Americano joy. For those who know me, this is quite a feat, as my attempts to meditate have come in fits and starts over the past two years. I’m grateful to Dan Harris of 10% Happier for sharing his personal story about turning to meditation, as his journey was a vulnerable and human one that I could somehow relate to more deeply than others.
“Begin again.”
Those two simple words repeated many times over the course of my sessions. Each day I enjoyed a different teacher’s voice and perspective, yet the message was the same. When you find yourself becoming distracted by a thought, note it, and begin again. The act of meditation teaches us that our thoughts are just that -- a thought -- and do not have to control our minds. The reminder is gentle and without judgment, and helps to bring my focus back to the present moment and to the in-and-out flow of my breath.
I’ve found this concept helpful in other small moments this week.
On a day I hoped to exercise yet allowed myself to become sidetracked by other commitments and distractions, instead of scolding myself for forgetting to prioritize my workout, I reminded myself that tomorrow I could begin again.
On Wednesday night, when I went to make dinner and felt frustrated that I hadn’t started the process sooner before we all were hungry and irritable, I reminded myself that tomorrow I could begin again.
During a ramble through the woods with my Connection 101 partner, Amy, we talked about the interplay of our character strengths and how they drive our behavior. For me, I’m high on love of learning and zest and lower on self-regulation and prudence, which means I often say yes to more things than I should. Why? Every new experience is a desirable chance for me to learn, and I have an abundance of energy so I assume I am capable of doing everything I am interested in. (author’s note: I’m not -- I wind up eventually feeling burned out). As we talked, I recognized the early warning signs of “too many yeses,” and for a moment, I felt deeply irritated with myself for making the same mistake yet again. I reminded myself that tomorrow I could begin again.
When my thoughts go beyond my own orbit, I think about the many graduates who are ending important chapters of their life, many without the opportunity to celebrate in ways that honor the time and energy they invested to reach these pivotal moments. Graduates in normal times face uncertainty, yet the graduates this year must grapple with it even more than in more “normal” times. I have deep empathy for these students, as my own graduation from business school came during another deeply unstable moment in history -- 2001.
These young graduates may be wondering if their fall school experience will begin on-campus or by remote learning, or they may question if a tenuous and uncertain job market will have an opportunity ripe for their engaged spirits and newly developed skills and knowledge base. The closing of this chapter is, even within the uncertainty, an opportunity for these students to begin again.
All of us may be approaching our future with varying combinations of fear, uncertainty, hope, curiosity, grief, and wonder right now — will my kids go back to school in the fall? Will my job be stable? Will I get sick?
Perhaps when we feel the balance of our emotions tip more deeply toward grief and fear instead of toward hope and wonder, we might call upon the strength that comes from knowing what is possible within each moment. We can choose to quiet the thoughts that distract us from where we want to be and turn our attention back to the present moment and our breath.
And begin again.
Update: In my first post, I spoke about my hope that use of standardized tests such as the SAT to evaluate students would be a relic of the past. Boom! Kudos to California for leading the charge.
CRAVE list
Cook:
Ok folks. I’m admittedly missing the simple pleasure of going out to a restaurant for a delicious meal. My cooking this week has been nothing short of uninspired.
We have been grilling a lot which has been nice -- I highly recommend this Peruvian spice blend to “zhush” up chicken.
With the warmer weather I’m craving crunchy salads again and always love this ginger carrot dressing -- it makes a lot so its great to whip up and share with a friend. I love it over crunchy green lettuce and tons of avocado.
My friend Suzi C. made this orzo and vegetable salad for a gathering last week and it was delicious. I am reminded of how genius the Barefoot Contessa can be! Adding it to the plan for the week, too.
Read:
Book: I downloaded Cal Newport’s Digital Minimalism to listen to on Audible. My brother Ken recommended it a while back and I am finally ready to receive Cal’s message.
Article: My friend Jenny L. sent me this Atlantic article from Arthur Brooks about identifying your life’s work. It looks like a terrific one for people of all ages and it is queued up for my weekend reading.
Absorb:
Watch: I forgot to share this when I watched it a few weeks ago, but I literally could not stop watching Netflix’s Unorthodox. I had to know what would become of Etsy, and watched all four episodes in a row.
Listen: I spoke to my new friend Mary Churchill this morning and learned about her podcast, ExperiencED. It’s a cross-disciplinary look at experiential education. I’m excited to listen to their thoughts on an area of education I hope becomes even more important to learning.
Venture:
Last week I mentioned I planned to try to check my email at specific times of the day. I’ve made some progress -- enough to want to keep going. The biggest change I’ve been able to make is I do not check my email immediately when I wake up which has been described as a bad habit by many! I have replaced the habit with a new one -- I try to have my first thought be something about being grateful for the opportunity to greet another day and to make the best of it. It sounds corny, but it works.
This week’s venture for me is to continue to build on my success by blocking 4 distinct email chunks (7:30am; 10:00 am; 1:00pm; and before dinner/cocktail hour) and not being tempted outside of them. Wish me luck sticking to this plan!
Exercise:
Thanks to a very old friend (hi Fred) from elementary school, I’m following Jennifer Jacobs’ recommended Peloton workouts for the next 5 weeks to build my strength. Join me! She is a terrific instructor who no longer teaches there yet her classes are still available on-demand. I’m also finishing up week 3 of Emma Lovewell’s Crush Your Core program, and I highly recommend it.